Recently I tried an experiment. I've always been careful to date the guys who treat women with respect and who treat people well. I only date guys who are kind, caring, and gentlemanly. I know that the big things are important in a relationship, but I wondered, is it really that big of a deal if the guy does or does not do the little gentlemanly things like open the door for you to get into the car?
I thought maybe I've been shallow in not giving a guy like that a chance. Maybe he just doesn't know or maybe he has other qualities that I am overlooking because I am focused on the little details. So for the first time in my life I gave a non-gentleman a chance. He turned out to be selfish and trashy.
Coincidence? Maybe. But seriously it does show a point that the little things like that can matter, not because it's a little thing but because it is an indicator of greater things.
I'm not saying to count out any guy who doesn't get your door for you, maybe he just doesn't know you like that, but I am saying that you need to look deeper behind the reasons for the person you are dating's daily actions. And it's not just doors, you see it in other small things that add up to be big things once you unravel more.
Trust me, the person who does not do respectful things, will not be respectful. If you put up with it, it's putting up with McDonald's drive-through for your fancy birthday dinner, when you could be at a nice Italian restaurant with someone who gets your chair for you. The choice is yours and trust me there are plenty of good people out there to be had so throw the bad ones back. Sometimes (and I am not excusing people's bad behavior or saying it's anyone else's fault but their own, but) sometimes people do not treat others with respect because people let them get away with it. Do not put up with it. Tell him or her, dump them, or leave them because it is not worth it. Everyone deserves to be treated well--women and men.
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