Don't Know How I Landed On This Movie Set

Please tell me how this is even possible--there is a couple that goes to my church and they are the most PDA couple in the entire congregation.  Obviously I try to avoid sitting behind people like this, especially lately since I have been in a really anti-dating/anti-boys/anti-anything to do with love kind of mood, but no matter what I do or where I go, they always come and sit right in front of me.  I'm not even exaggerating, I'll try sitting in the front, on the side, in the middle, on the other side and they're nowhere in sight when I sit down.  Then, from out of nowhere they always come sit down right in front of me.  They don't even know me, they've never even seen me but I feel like I'm good friends with them because I have to sit there and look at them every week, every meeting.  The other day we went to a baseball game with our church and guess who comes and sits right in front of me.  This past Sunday I sat on the very back row where I haven't sat before and I was relieved to see that they sat 2 rows in front of me finally, instead of right in front of me.  This was good because someone would of course sit between us and would block them from my sight, and someone did come come sit there, however it happened to be a funny guy who has special needs and he just stretched out and lied down across the whole row of seats between us so it was like there was no one there.  It's becoming like some kind of a sick joke, or maybe it's a sign that I just need to sit on the front row or something.  Anyway I think it's funny and it made me think of this song I love that Hunter Hayes sings:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxBEAZYEJk8

True Advice

"If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it.  So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay."

"Wait for the boy who would do anything to be your everything."

Awkward Moments

"That awkward moment when you realize you have a better chance at finding Waldo than a boyfriend."
"That awkward moment when you see 9 year olds with boyfriends and girlfriends and you're still single."
That really awkward moment when you attend the wedding of the girl you babysat and you're still single.


Yep, this pretty much sums up my life :)

When it Rains, it Pours...All Types

There is some unexplained mystery in the universe that I don't understand.  There will be these long spans where no one asks me out and then all it takes is one day one guy asks me out and it breaks through the cursed drought and then suddenly it's like some message is sent out in the universe that the curse has been broken and all sorts of guys start asking me out at the same time.  It's always like this, all or nothing.  Sometimes I wish they could just come one at a time, but it never seems to happen that way.  What causes this is such a mystery to me, it almost feels like all the guys are plotting together haha. 

But in this craziness I have not had time to blog for a while, until this week where I am back to my drought of no dates and I have decided to veto life for the week.  So, since I have time I thought I'd share a bad date/(so bad I don't even count it as a date) that I had a few days ago.  Even though most of my dates have been great, I share this as a funny story and a reminder of what not to do.

So a guy asked me out on a date.  He started out great--called in advanced and had a plan, or so I thought.  He asked me to go to a movie-which I must say is not a great first date idea because it's hard to get to know someone that way.  But I was fine with it.  Then he gave me 6 suggestions of movies we could see.  I told him I would love to see any of the 5, but the only one I didn't want to see was "Snow White and the Huntsman".  And, just a couple days before this I had been talking with him in a group of people and talking about how much I did not want to see this movie.  So the next day he came to pick me up.  He said "Is it ok if we go see Snow White and the Huntsman"?  In my head I thought "Really?  The only one I did not want to see?  I'm not trying to be picky or selfish because I liked all the other suggestions and said I would see any of the other ones."  But then I thought the movie might not be as bad as it looked in the previews, so I thought I should give it a shot, so I said "ok."  So this was strike 1.  Then it turned out we were going with a group of friends so we met at another friend's house and it was then I found out that it was a double showing and we wouldn't be home until 3 am.  I told my date that I needed to be home by midnight, so I could only stay for the first show, to which he replied "I'm gonna stay for both shows."  Strike, Strike.  So, I was going to be stuck without a ride, 20 miles from my house in the scariest neighborhood in the entire state, where you basically need a bullet-proof vest to walk through.  Fortunately, a cuter guy who I don't even know offered to give me a ride home.  At the movie I had ended up paying for my own ticket, so I was only too happy to leave early with the other guy.  Oh, and did I mention that my date talked about himself the whole time--I asked him lots of questions and he didn't ask me questions back.  No one should have to put up with a "date" like that.

All it takes is simple basic life and gospel principles: Be unselfish and thoughtful.  That's what it takes to have a successful relationship, even if you have zero dating skills-you will be successful if you both put the other person's needs before your own.  Be interested in the other person's life and wants and needs.  If you do this, you will be a successful dater.

Do Girls Go for the Nice Guys?

I think it's funny that I started this blog at the one time in my life when I am dating the least amount I've ever dated, but I guess that's why I actually have time to blog right now  :)  I feel like it's getting kind of boring though and my random dates haven't been really post-worthy so that's why I haven't posted in a while. 
I had to post this article though that one of my guy friends shared on facebook yesterday.  It's called "Why do Nice Guys Finish Last".  It does a pretty good job explaining the difference between a "nice guy" who comes off as weak and guys who ARE nice.  We like guys who are nice.  Some of us girls don't go for bad boys or the players and games, so just keep being nice, boys.  We just like a guy who has confidence to be himself because like this article says, girls don't want just a nice guy, they want a great guy :).  As a girl I can tell you that we do appreciate it when guys are nice.  For example, this week, since I am moving, a guy offered to help me move stuff.  This was really nice.  It earned tons of bonus points and made my respect for him go up evern more.  So it's true that we do like it and notice it when guys are nice to both us and those around them.
Here's the article:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_600/608_why-do-nice-guys-finish-last.html

Thank Goodness it Doesn't Always Work Out

Do you ever find yourself wondering each time you date or like a cute guy and it doesn't work out, why, why, why can't it work out?  I do every time. 
I realized the answer as I was thinking of the experience I had when I was first applying for internships for my first degree.  I interviewed with a couple different big internships that I really wanted and was turned down for them.  I started to feel discouraged and rejected.  I was so sad and thought something is seriously wrong with me and I am not going to ever find an internship and I am not going to be able to graduate.  There was a smaller company that had offered me an internship and I was deciding that I should probably take it because it was better than nothing, and I needed an internship in order to graduate.  But then, just when I was deciding to accept the offer, I received an offer to have my dream internship--it was the biggest place, the one internship I would have chosen over all the others, including the ones that I was so sad about being turned down for.  I had thought there was no way they would ever hire me because it was such an incredible and coveted internship. 
So, of course I immediately accepted and had the greatest experience at that internship.  I looked back and thought "thank goodness the other places turned me down because I would have accepted one of their lesser offers and, although I would have been happy for the moment, I would have been sad in the long run to have missed out on an even better internship, my dream internship."
So, I think it's the same with dating.  Instead of getting discouraged when things don't work out the way we want, we have to remember that there's something better for us out there and we'll be glad later that things didn't work out how we originally planned.  I've already had many experiences where I looked back at guys I dated, and although they were great guys I think "thank goodness it didn't work out."

Life's Practical Jokes

Last post I mentioned how this week has been so great and happy part of that was because I got over one of the last stupid crushes that I had.  I was so glad and was just saying to heaven thank you that I was finally over that one and feeling so happy.  While I was doing that I was wondering how I ever let myself like a guy who doesn't like me back and thought "It's nice that I don't ever see him, and if that one were meant to be I'd at least run into him every once in a while or something." So, then I walked outside, looking ugly and frumpy I might add, and guess who I saw standing there talking with some people--yep.  So after I rushed by, turning my head in the opposite direction and wanting to be invisible, I just looked up to Heaven and said "You may think this is funny right now, but it's not!"  because I started to feel sad again.

But then as the day went on it became funnier so that when I went to tell my roommates what had happened with the intent of making them see how sad it was, I accidentally made the story sound really funny and I was laughing and they were laughing, and it was so hilarious that they could not see anything sad about the situation.  Then my roommates reminded me of all the pranks I've played on them and I realized that I deserved a practical joke from Heaven, and I guess I can see now that it really was funny, that's just how life is sometimes.  If we can take a terrible, awkward situation and turn it into a chance to laugh, life is so much better! So I guess it really can be good when life plays practical jokes on us.

I'm gonna figure out this Ingrid Michaelson song "Oh What A Day" on the uke, because it describes how I feel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGvfTn8W1AY

Things Are Looking Up

I wrote this a couple days ago and forgot to post it...

Do you ever feel that it's hard to move past the current crush you are stuck on, like trying to see the sunrise at 3 am, or trying to see the sunlight through a wall with no windows?  This is a common occurrance for me, yet no matter how many times it happens, I still have a hard time picturing that the sun is still out there shining behind that wall.
The other day I ran into a guy I dated who I once felt that way about.  After I had broken up with him I remember it made me sick inside just to think about him, and yet last week I ran into him and I didn't even recognize him at first when he said hi to me, even though he hasn't changed much but he was so far from my thoughts that I just hadn't expected to see him, and when I did, it was good.  There was no sick feeling in my stomach and no strong attraction.  We didn't have much to talk about but I realized that I am happy where I am in life and I could honestly just be friends with him without feeling attached or attracted to him in that way anymore.  It was a liberating feeling and it helped me realize that I could soon feel the same way about a different crush who I was trying to get over at the time.
Today was a part of that liberation.  I feel happy and hopeful and ready to move forward with my life. (And once I get over a crush, I don't ever go back to liking them, I guess I just have too much pride to take a guy back)  The thing that helped the most--prayer, friends, and serving others.  I also talked with a few different people who are going through such difficult times right now and I realized I am so fortunate and don't appreciate how much I have been blessed with, and I am not the only one with trials, we all have hard times.  So, things are looking up, even though love hasn't look up at me yet :).

How Do I Love Thee?

http://www.lds.org/new-era/2003/10/how-do-i-love-thee?lang=eng&query=love+thee%3f+(name%3a"Jeffrey+R.+Holland")

Great Article: The 5 Types of Guys Who Make Great Husbands

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charli-penn/the-provider-the-rock-you_b_1373274.html

The Faith to Marry

http://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/07/the-faith-to-marry?lang=eng&query=dating+decision

What Not to Say to Singles

I'm really grateful for supportive friends who offer their encouragement and advice about being single, but every once in a while I hear some funny things that just really are not helpful.  I thought I'd share some of these so people can know what not to say to single people.

The Most Frustrating Comment:
Nothing is more frustrating than when you're talking to guy, especially when it's a cute guy who you would love to date, and he says "You're so amazing, I don't get it, why aren't you married?" and yet this guy won't even take you on a date.  I want to answer in one of three ways: 1: punch him in the face, 2: ask him "I don't know, you tell me--because obviously there must be something seriously wrong with me if you won't even take me on a date as a friend, let alone date, me, let alone marry me," or 3: Maybe because every guy I know is like you and won't even give me a chance.

The Not-So Flattering Comment:
When I was even younger and hadn't even reached the average national age that women usually marry, I would have guys always ask me "how did you slip through the cracks?"  I tell them that I haven't slipped through any cracks.  Just because I haven't gotten married yet does not mean that I am a hopeless, fallen case, but thanks for the not-so flattering comment.

The Depressor:
One time I was standing by a single friend who is older than me when a married person came up to her, grabbed her by the arm, and started crying on her shoulder saying "It'll be ok, let me tell you about a friend of mine who was single..." and she proceeded to cry and tell some sad story of a single woman who finally found love.  I was thinking "wow, I was feeling pretty good about life, but now I feel completely depressed."  This is not helpful.

The Funniest Comment I've Heard Yet:
We who have been single for a while have heard it all, and my personal favorite is when people start telling you about all the young men who have died in wars who are going to need wives in the next life.  This is definitely not what a single person wants to hear.  But the best comment I have heard was made to a friend of a friend, when someone came up to her and told her that many men over in Ethiopia have died.  So this person is basically saying that this girl's only chance for marriage is to a skinny little man on the other side of the planet, who has a completely different culture and language, and is dead.  Do people who say these things honestly thing this is comforting or helpful in some way?

One Last One:
Singles struggle with their self esteem enough as it is, since we each feel like the last one picked to be on the team, like the one person that the team captains passed by because we weren't wanted, so it is really not helpful when married people who happened to be lucky enough to find their spouse really easily, tell us all the things they think we are doing wrong and how we should all try to do what they did.  The funny thing is that each situation is different and everyone's advice is different, and we singles have basically tried it all, so what works for one person isn't going to necessarily work for someone else, it has a lot to do with personality, situation, and timing.  So, while we appreciate your helpful advice when it is in our best interest, we really don't need to hear criticism.

So basically it comes down to this, we really are normal, happy people so please just treat us like your normal friends.

Believe the Impossible is Possible

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

This chapter in the New Testament tells the story of Sara, who was told by the Lord that even though she was ninety years old, she would have a child.  Even though this was a physical impossibility, she had faith in the promises of the Lord, and as a result, that promise came true.

After Lazarus had been dead for 4 days, his sisters had the faith that the Savior could still help him, and Lazarus was raised from the dead.
So when the future's looking bleak, remember what Jesus said in Mark 10:27 "with men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God, all things are possible."

And in the words of singer Rachel Platten:

"So slow down, there's some kind of blessing here...
So keep your eyes set on the horizon
On the line where blue meets blue
And I'd bet that silver lining,
Well I know it'll find you soon."

Bravery is Impressive

Today I want to thank all those brave guys out there who ask women out.  I have a lot of respect for them and the tough job they have which takes a lot of courage.  Way to go men!  I was happy to recently learn about a brave guy, who I have a lot of respect for.  He is a great example of the type of guy that girls are impressed by.  This guy has dates with 4 different beautiful women this week.  You'd think this guy is one of those confident guys who has everything going for him, right?  Actually, this guy is autistic, has no job, and is in a position where most men would lack the confidence to ask girls on dates, yet he has more dates than any guy I know.  How does he get these dates?  He simply has the confidence to ask, and that is impressive to girls.  He realizes that a date is not any type of scary commitment, it is just a chance to have fun and get to know someone.  I am really grateful for guys like him.
I don't blame the guys who are scared to ask a girl out because that's got to be intimidating, but I think the following situations are funny that I've encountered over the past couple weeks:
*The guys who call to ask you out but when you don't answer, they hang up without leaving a message and never call back.  If we knew, we'd return the call. 
*The guy who acts upset when you see him and you're very confused until one day you discover he's been trying to text you months before but he had the wrong number so you never knew.
*The guy you would have gone out with but you're legitimately busy that day and although you genuinely tell him you'd would like to go out another time, he never calls again.
*The guys who text you all the time but never ask you on a date.
*The guys who don't even try any of the above
Keep on being brave men because women love it!
 

I'm finally blogging!

This blog is designed to share insights and funny experiences about the life of singledom. Hopefully those who are in the same boat can relate to and laugh with these posts, and realize they are not alone in experiencing all the rough times and awkward moments that can come with being single. I hope readers can also realize that this time of life can be full of great stories, fun times, and lots of laughter. I should forewarn you that there may be some occasional venting, but hopefully not too much. :)