Do the Little Things Really Matter?

Recently I tried an experiment.  I've always been careful to date the guys who treat women with respect and who treat people well.  I only date guys who are kind, caring, and gentlemanly.  I know that the big things are important in a relationship, but I wondered, is it really that big of a deal if the guy does or does not do the little gentlemanly things like open the door for you to get into the car?
I thought maybe I've been shallow in not giving a guy like that a chance.  Maybe he just doesn't know or maybe he has other qualities that I am overlooking because I am focused on the little details.  So for the first time in my life I gave a non-gentleman a chance.  He turned out to be selfish and trashy.
Coincidence?  Maybe.  But seriously it does show a point that the little things like that can matter, not because it's a little thing but because it is an indicator of greater things.
I'm not saying to count out any guy who doesn't get your door for you, maybe he just doesn't know you like that, but I am saying that you need to look deeper behind the reasons for the person you are dating's daily actions.  And it's not just doors, you see it in other small things that add up to be big things once you unravel more.
Trust me, the person who does not do respectful things, will not be respectful.  If you put up with it, it's putting up with McDonald's drive-through for your fancy birthday dinner, when you could be at a nice Italian restaurant with someone who gets your chair for you.  The choice is yours and trust me there are plenty of good people out there to be had so throw the bad ones back.  Sometimes (and I am not excusing people's bad behavior or saying it's anyone else's fault but their own, but) sometimes people do not treat others with respect because people let them get away with it.  Do not put up with it.  Tell him or her, dump them, or leave them because it is not worth it.  Everyone deserves to be treated well--women and men.

Iron Man

Thought of the Day:
The movie Iron Man 3 was right about one thing:
Never believe a man when he says "I promise I'll catch you."
Hahaha, just kidding, but seriously if the guy is a player like Iron Man, then don't believe it. :)

For Those Who Wait

For Those Who Wait
Performed By, Firelight


This is for those who wait

Another day another waiting game
A little different but it's still the same
I am here but where's the one I'm longing for?

I'm having troubles feeling all alone
Will my heart ever find a home?
I want to hope but sometimes I just don't know
I know I'm not the only one

So you sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free

When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

I want to open up my eyes
I know that all I need is time
I'm growing stronger every single day

God, I'm gonna leave them to You now
Letting go all of my fear and doubt
I can't do this on my own, so I'll give You control
I know I'm not the only one

So you sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free

When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it

So we sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free

When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

Let it set your heart on fire
This is for those who wait

Don't Know How I Landed On This Movie Set

Please tell me how this is even possible--there is a couple that goes to my church and they are the most PDA couple in the entire congregation.  Obviously I try to avoid sitting behind people like this, especially lately since I have been in a really anti-dating/anti-boys/anti-anything to do with love kind of mood, but no matter what I do or where I go, they always come and sit right in front of me.  I'm not even exaggerating, I'll try sitting in the front, on the side, in the middle, on the other side and they're nowhere in sight when I sit down.  Then, from out of nowhere they always come sit down right in front of me.  They don't even know me, they've never even seen me but I feel like I'm good friends with them because I have to sit there and look at them every week, every meeting.  The other day we went to a baseball game with our church and guess who comes and sits right in front of me.  This past Sunday I sat on the very back row where I haven't sat before and I was relieved to see that they sat 2 rows in front of me finally, instead of right in front of me.  This was good because someone would of course sit between us and would block them from my sight, and someone did come come sit there, however it happened to be a funny guy who has special needs and he just stretched out and lied down across the whole row of seats between us so it was like there was no one there.  It's becoming like some kind of a sick joke, or maybe it's a sign that I just need to sit on the front row or something.  Anyway I think it's funny and it made me think of this song I love that Hunter Hayes sings:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxBEAZYEJk8

True Advice

"If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it.  So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay."

"Wait for the boy who would do anything to be your everything."

Awkward Moments

"That awkward moment when you realize you have a better chance at finding Waldo than a boyfriend."
"That awkward moment when you see 9 year olds with boyfriends and girlfriends and you're still single."
That really awkward moment when you attend the wedding of the girl you babysat and you're still single.


Yep, this pretty much sums up my life :)

When it Rains, it Pours...All Types

There is some unexplained mystery in the universe that I don't understand.  There will be these long spans where no one asks me out and then all it takes is one day one guy asks me out and it breaks through the cursed drought and then suddenly it's like some message is sent out in the universe that the curse has been broken and all sorts of guys start asking me out at the same time.  It's always like this, all or nothing.  Sometimes I wish they could just come one at a time, but it never seems to happen that way.  What causes this is such a mystery to me, it almost feels like all the guys are plotting together haha. 

But in this craziness I have not had time to blog for a while, until this week where I am back to my drought of no dates and I have decided to veto life for the week.  So, since I have time I thought I'd share a bad date/(so bad I don't even count it as a date) that I had a few days ago.  Even though most of my dates have been great, I share this as a funny story and a reminder of what not to do.

So a guy asked me out on a date.  He started out great--called in advanced and had a plan, or so I thought.  He asked me to go to a movie-which I must say is not a great first date idea because it's hard to get to know someone that way.  But I was fine with it.  Then he gave me 6 suggestions of movies we could see.  I told him I would love to see any of the 5, but the only one I didn't want to see was "Snow White and the Huntsman".  And, just a couple days before this I had been talking with him in a group of people and talking about how much I did not want to see this movie.  So the next day he came to pick me up.  He said "Is it ok if we go see Snow White and the Huntsman"?  In my head I thought "Really?  The only one I did not want to see?  I'm not trying to be picky or selfish because I liked all the other suggestions and said I would see any of the other ones."  But then I thought the movie might not be as bad as it looked in the previews, so I thought I should give it a shot, so I said "ok."  So this was strike 1.  Then it turned out we were going with a group of friends so we met at another friend's house and it was then I found out that it was a double showing and we wouldn't be home until 3 am.  I told my date that I needed to be home by midnight, so I could only stay for the first show, to which he replied "I'm gonna stay for both shows."  Strike, Strike.  So, I was going to be stuck without a ride, 20 miles from my house in the scariest neighborhood in the entire state, where you basically need a bullet-proof vest to walk through.  Fortunately, a cuter guy who I don't even know offered to give me a ride home.  At the movie I had ended up paying for my own ticket, so I was only too happy to leave early with the other guy.  Oh, and did I mention that my date talked about himself the whole time--I asked him lots of questions and he didn't ask me questions back.  No one should have to put up with a "date" like that.

All it takes is simple basic life and gospel principles: Be unselfish and thoughtful.  That's what it takes to have a successful relationship, even if you have zero dating skills-you will be successful if you both put the other person's needs before your own.  Be interested in the other person's life and wants and needs.  If you do this, you will be a successful dater.