Red Flags

Here are just a few red flags to look out for when dating someone:

Too Many Differences
-You don't share any common interests: If you find yourself no longer pursuing the things you love and are changing to do only what the other person loves you're not being true to yourself
-You don't have common life goals: Do you have different ideas about how to live, how to raise a family or what your standards and expectations are in dating?
They make you lower your usual standards to meet theirs
-They want you to do something you're not comfortable with
-The guy doesn't offer to pick you up
-The guy doesn't plan dates in advance in the early stages of the relationship
-The guy never talks on the phone, but only texts
They only want you alone
-You don't want to introduce them to your family or friends after you've been dating a while for fear of what they may think
-They don't express interest to meet your family or friends or introduce you to theirs after dating for a while
He doesn't pay attention to you when he's with you
-They're constantly on their phone when you're with them
-They have to leave to answer calls
-Won't hold your hand in public
-If they don't ask you questions about yourself and really make an effort to get to know you, they're probably not really into you as a person
Lack of motivation
-He has a lack of motivation-whether it's career wise, education wise, or lack of planning dates or wanting to go do fun things
-You're only watching movies: If he's not taking you out places and doing things once in a while that you enjoy doing then it's going nowhere good
Moves Too Fast
-They're too clingy in the beginning before they really know you.  This can be a sign of a lack of self control and you can bet he'll leave you and cheat on you just as fast as he tried to jump into a serious relationship with you
You don't see them being a good future parent

New Year and New Beginnings

Taken from a radio broadcast:

Faith Points to the Future

Whenever we start something new-whether it's a new year, a new day, a new project, or a new goal-it typically means putting an end to something old. Even when it's a positive change, it can be hard to let go of the familiar past and step into an uncertain future. But while we certainly can't live in the past, we can always learn from it. Jeffrey R. Holland expressed this truth in these words: "We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. . . . Then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future."¹

Faith is believing and hoping that no matter how things have gone in the past, they can get better. Faith is forward-looking; it empowers and inspires us to action; it moves us to do more and to become better.

This kind of faith is robust and realistic; it is not a fairy tale or make-believe. Consider the great challenges throughout history that have been overcome by courageous people-including yourself! Yes, you've made it through tough times and done hard things before. With that ringing endorsement from the past, you can face the future with faith. An overwhelmed new mother knows she can become a good mom because, if nothing else, she has learned how to love. A first-semester college student knows she can tackle a busy term because she has worked hard and managed her time before. A man bravely battles a crippling illness because he knows this is hardly the first challenge he has faced.

Even if the new year, new day, or new challenge seems more difficult than anything you've faced before, the fact that you've come this far reveals that you have it in you to succeed. Draw strength from the past, but don't get stuck there. Look to the future with faith, and remember that the seemingly small victories you collect now are laying the foundation of great success in the future.

1. "The Best Is Yet to Be," Ensign, Jan. 2010, 24.

Do the Little Things Really Matter?

Recently I tried an experiment.  I've always been careful to date the guys who treat women with respect and who treat people well.  I only date guys who are kind, caring, and gentlemanly.  I know that the big things are important in a relationship, but I wondered, is it really that big of a deal if the guy does or does not do the little gentlemanly things like open the door for you to get into the car?
I thought maybe I've been shallow in not giving a guy like that a chance.  Maybe he just doesn't know or maybe he has other qualities that I am overlooking because I am focused on the little details.  So for the first time in my life I gave a non-gentleman a chance.  He turned out to be selfish and trashy.
Coincidence?  Maybe.  But seriously it does show a point that the little things like that can matter, not because it's a little thing but because it is an indicator of greater things.
I'm not saying to count out any guy who doesn't get your door for you, maybe he just doesn't know you like that, but I am saying that you need to look deeper behind the reasons for the person you are dating's daily actions.  And it's not just doors, you see it in other small things that add up to be big things once you unravel more.
Trust me, the person who does not do respectful things, will not be respectful.  If you put up with it, it's putting up with McDonald's drive-through for your fancy birthday dinner, when you could be at a nice Italian restaurant with someone who gets your chair for you.  The choice is yours and trust me there are plenty of good people out there to be had so throw the bad ones back.  Sometimes (and I am not excusing people's bad behavior or saying it's anyone else's fault but their own, but) sometimes people do not treat others with respect because people let them get away with it.  Do not put up with it.  Tell him or her, dump them, or leave them because it is not worth it.  Everyone deserves to be treated well--women and men.