What Not to Say to Singles

I'm really grateful for supportive friends who offer their encouragement and advice about being single, but every once in a while I hear some funny things that just really are not helpful.  I thought I'd share some of these so people can know what not to say to single people.

The Most Frustrating Comment:
Nothing is more frustrating than when you're talking to guy, especially when it's a cute guy who you would love to date, and he says "You're so amazing, I don't get it, why aren't you married?" and yet this guy won't even take you on a date.  I want to answer in one of three ways: 1: punch him in the face, 2: ask him "I don't know, you tell me--because obviously there must be something seriously wrong with me if you won't even take me on a date as a friend, let alone date, me, let alone marry me," or 3: Maybe because every guy I know is like you and won't even give me a chance.

The Not-So Flattering Comment:
When I was even younger and hadn't even reached the average national age that women usually marry, I would have guys always ask me "how did you slip through the cracks?"  I tell them that I haven't slipped through any cracks.  Just because I haven't gotten married yet does not mean that I am a hopeless, fallen case, but thanks for the not-so flattering comment.

The Depressor:
One time I was standing by a single friend who is older than me when a married person came up to her, grabbed her by the arm, and started crying on her shoulder saying "It'll be ok, let me tell you about a friend of mine who was single..." and she proceeded to cry and tell some sad story of a single woman who finally found love.  I was thinking "wow, I was feeling pretty good about life, but now I feel completely depressed."  This is not helpful.

The Funniest Comment I've Heard Yet:
We who have been single for a while have heard it all, and my personal favorite is when people start telling you about all the young men who have died in wars who are going to need wives in the next life.  This is definitely not what a single person wants to hear.  But the best comment I have heard was made to a friend of a friend, when someone came up to her and told her that many men over in Ethiopia have died.  So this person is basically saying that this girl's only chance for marriage is to a skinny little man on the other side of the planet, who has a completely different culture and language, and is dead.  Do people who say these things honestly thing this is comforting or helpful in some way?

One Last One:
Singles struggle with their self esteem enough as it is, since we each feel like the last one picked to be on the team, like the one person that the team captains passed by because we weren't wanted, so it is really not helpful when married people who happened to be lucky enough to find their spouse really easily, tell us all the things they think we are doing wrong and how we should all try to do what they did.  The funny thing is that each situation is different and everyone's advice is different, and we singles have basically tried it all, so what works for one person isn't going to necessarily work for someone else, it has a lot to do with personality, situation, and timing.  So, while we appreciate your helpful advice when it is in our best interest, we really don't need to hear criticism.

So basically it comes down to this, we really are normal, happy people so please just treat us like your normal friends.